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August 17, 2013
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Chrysanthemum

 

Last night, I dreamt of us.

We were together on a mountaintop,

I was sitting on the edge,

With my legs dangling above the bottomless pit,

With a lone, white chrysanthemum in my hand as I pull the petals from the stem.

While you were standing above me, looking on, languidly,

None of us wanting to say anything,

My own mental battle sewing my lips to one another,

Unable to speak,

While you were probably trapped within your own mental depths;

In my mind, I was debating between venting and jumping,

Simply over the fact I didn’t know what that look was in your eyes,

But I think that’s probably the point, that we’re no longer of the same kind,

Maybe I changed into something I’m unaware of, maybe you were the one to transform,

But I don’t get the same feel of what used to be,

This is foreign to me,

An unapologetic feeling of extreme apathy,

And that is the unfortunate reality of this situation,

No matter how long I’m trapped in my own mental confines,

Between how I feel and how you’re behaving,

To how your body language reads to what you’re actually saying,

It won’t change a thing, till you speak first.

‘Cause….I’m not gonna talk anymore,

I’ve spoken enough; I’ve done more than enough,

The door isn’t closed, but you can’t force water onto the horse,

And I can’t stand any longer at the door,

I can wait for only so long, before my body loses in-ta-rest, as well

Before my legs fall asleep and my legs numb,

Before my head falls and my eyelids fall even lower,

And I leave in search of my bed.

So, as we sit here for the final time,

If you have something to say, please let it be known,

‘Cause if not, I’ll have to get up and go.

And force you out of my mind, the way I’ve forced out so many others.

So I look up at you and you look down upon me,

My eyes ask the question, “So what’s it gonna be?”

You just blink………..

I get up from my seat, stand at the edge of this peak,

And lazily let the stem fall from my fingertips.

I guess the petals were right in the end……..

This piece is a bit interesting, for me. Some parts of it are pretty straight-forward, others.....not as much. A bit more convoluted. I actually can't say why I titled this poem this way, but...........you'll realize why once you read the piece to the end. :aww:

Another thing, "in-ta-rest" could be read two different ways. 'Interest,' as in, "My body loses interest." Or, 'into rest,' as in, "My body loses into rest." Regardless of how you read it, it means basically the same thing. :nod: Interest is more representative of the mental state; into rest represents more of the tired, exhausted, physical state brought by basically the same thing.

If you read this piece closely, you may be able to put together why I ended the poem the way I did and how, "The petals were right in the end."

My dream was a bit convoluted so I tried my best to make some parts obvious, other parts a bit more subtle. :nod: I hope you enjoy as this piece was fun to write. Personal, but fun. :)

EDIT: I simply cannot believe this. I've received a Daily Deviation for this. My goodness, thank you to all that have faved, commented, and just supported me. ^star-blazer, I give you my sincerest, heartiest, most grateful thanks for this.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-10-07
Chrysanthemum by *chromeantennae is a cleverly written poem, tugging at the emotions. ( Featured by DorianHarper )
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Mar 12, 2014  Student Writer
Whoa. This is really unique! Though I can't grasp it entirely, it seems too... familiar, somehow for me to not at least leave a comment. :)
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Mar 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconbowplz: Wow, thank you so much! :)
(I'm so sorry for the late reply, I haven't been feeling very well, lately. :( )
Reply
:iconthe-solimnludic:
the-solimnludic Jan 25, 2014  Student General Artist
Very interesting poem!!! Someone made a comment on how the Chrysanthemum was a flower of both death and birth? That's so cool...it's like you chose the perfect flower for this poem, really.

I remember reading this a while back but I must have been half-asleep or something because I didn't quite "get" it. Reading it back over, it's pretty straight-forward!

The emotions in this piece reminded me of times like these because it's happened to me before...slightly unsettling. How you could capture those emotions so wonderfully in this piece...really.

I have to point out my favorite lines to you (oh and the in-ta-rest was genius, honestly):

"...Between how I feel and how you’re behaving,

To how your body language reads to what you’re actually saying..."

The rhythm! The wording! I can't get over it! :love:

Oh, and congrats on the DD! You're so awesome!! ^^

Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It is the flower of life and death. :nod:

:nod: I'm glad you get it now. :aww: It really isn't that complex once we delve into it a little bit. :)

Aah yes, exactly. It's a really odd, unfortunate feeling indeed. :no: And thank you ever so much, M. :hug:

(:blush: Wow, thank you so much.)

:love: I really tried to incorporate some good rhythm here and I'm glad you believe so. :D

And thank you so much, my friend! <33 You're pretty awesome yourself, you know that? :tighthug:
Reply
:iconthe-solimnludic:
the-solimnludic Jan 30, 2014  Student General Artist
That's so cool!!
Yeah, heh. ^^;

:nod: Definitely. :hug:

(It's nothing!!)

It totally clicked with me. Just saying! :D

You're really welcome, Ricky!
:giggles: Gosh, thanks!
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Jan 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:)
:aww:

:tighthug:

(:huggle:)

Yay! :happybounce:

:love:
Reply
:iconprescribed-madness:
Prescribed-Madness Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, chrystanthemums
Flowers of death.
Also my birth flower funnily enough
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yes, exactly. :nod:
And oh wow, interesting. ^^
Reply
:iconprescribed-madness:
Prescribed-Madness Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's the birth flower for November I do believe
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:nod: I think you're correct.
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