Last night, I dreamt of us.
We were together on a mountaintop,
I was sitting on the edge,
With my legs dangling above the bottomless pit,
With a lone, white chrysanthemum in my hand as I pull the petals from the stem.
While you were standing above me, looking on, languidly,
None of us wanting to say anything,
My own mental battle sewing my lips to one another,
Unable to speak,
While you were probably trapped within your own mental depths;
In my mind, I was debating between venting and jumping,
Simply over the fact I didn’t know what that look was in your eyes,
But I think that’s probably the point, that we’re no longer of the same kind,
Maybe I changed into something I’m unaware of, maybe you were the one to transform,
But I don’t get the same feel of what used to be,
This is foreign to me,
An unapologetic feeling of extreme apathy,
And that is the unfortunate reality of this situation,
No matter how long I’m trapped in my own mental confines,
Between how I feel and how you’re behaving,
To how your body language reads to what you’re actually saying,
It won’t change a thing, till you speak first.
‘Cause….I’m not gonna talk anymore,
I’ve spoken enough; I’ve done more than enough,
The door isn’t closed, but you can’t force water onto the horse,
And I can’t stand any longer at the door,
I can wait for only so long, before my body loses in-ta-rest, as well
Before my legs fall asleep and my legs numb,
Before my head falls and my eyelids fall even lower,
And I leave in search of my bed.
So, as we sit here for the final time,
If you have something to say, please let it be known,
‘Cause if not, I’ll have to get up and go.
And force you out of my mind, the way I’ve forced out so many others.
So I look up at you and you look down upon me,
My eyes ask the question, “So what’s it gonna be?”
You just blink………..
I get up from my seat, stand at the edge of this peak,
And lazily let the stem fall from my fingertips.
I guess the petals were right in the end……..