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Submitted on
June 12, 2013
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Detached From The Nucleus

 

I witness those that run ahead,

I then look down to see I’m sitting motionless

And lower my eyes; I exhale with apathetic disgust,

I look at the speckled pavement and shake my head,

This feeling of detachment is ironically attached to my nucleus,

I look at my peers and am painfully aware there is no “us,”

Just him, her, that guy, that girl, just strangers; simply animate objects,

Not necessarily human, just breathing organisms that don’t really love

But I feel cynical; but not much more than that, just apathetic and emotionless,

What I have now……..I’m sorry Lord, but it leaves me yearning, I must confess;

So I write this to explain to You what You’re already aware of,

That I’m a greedy, selfish individual where I’ll eventually break down from self-induced stress,

But I hope You see I’m not really apathetic but a boy, who yearns to love,

And to have another love me with the same tenderness, I want that from someone,

I’m just lonely right now, Lord; and I feel as if this is a moment of weakness,

But I know I must continue to wait, I know my time will eventually come…..

 

How I feel at the moment. (Sigh) Just one of those nights, but it shall pass. This......just isn't enough. I want to see, to hear, to feel. Not to press against these keys.
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:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Student Writer
I love how honest this poem is, it gives it a completely different element to it entirely.
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. :iconbowplz:


I really appreciate you taking time out of your day to comment. :)
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:iconimaginative-lioness:
imaginative-lioness Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"I witness those that run ahead,

I then look down to see I’m sitting motionless"


Those two lines, oh my goodness, I can relate to that. Sometimes I feel as though I am sitting there motionless, watching as everyone moves forward with their lives and seems to know exactly what they are doing with themselves. It makes you feel so detached. However, it really is one of those feelings which pass. I have realised that I just need to focus on myself and not everyone else around me. Anyway! Enough about me, haha.

I quite like this piece. I really like how it is a person observing those around them, and we as readers get to see the world from their perspective. Another reason why I like this piece is because of its honesty and realisation. The line 'I look at my peers and am painfully aware there is no “us,”' really captures the realisation that the majority of the time people are simply looking out for themselves, and don't really care about those around them. It is quite painful to learn this, and you have captured that pain. Well done.

Overall, another wonderful piece! Captivating! :heart:
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like to believe most can relate to that. That experience of feeling stagnant. I feel like that quite often. And yeah, I definitely agree. :)

I'm happy you like this and I'm glad I was able to capture that with this piece. :D

Once again, thank you so much. :heart: (You're gonna have so many feedback messages from me. :lmao:)
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:iconimaginative-lioness:
imaginative-lioness Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I honestly think that this would be one of my favourites of yours. It truly is a fantastic piece! :heart:

(No worries! :D )
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad to hear that! :D
Thank you once again. :heart: (I'm gonna break the record for "thank you's" today. :XD:)

(Yay! :P)
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:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:huggle:
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
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:iconithaswhatitisnt:
ithaswhatitisnt Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconsadhugplz:
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: I'll be alright. I always am. Just kinda feelin' some different stuff now. :aww:
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