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Submitted on
June 11
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I Wish Love Wasn't Killing My Insides


i wish you were here,
i wish you were here,
i wish you were here,
or that i wasn't.

and i wish i knew who
i was talking about but
all of my sorrows
are merging to become my downfall.
and loving you is killing me
but i'd die if i stopped loving you.
i'd die before i stopped loving you.
and i wish that you saw it,
i wish you could feel it.

and i wish you knew that my tears
were burning the back of my eyes
like rubbing alcohol over an open wound,
and i wish you knew there are butterflies
in my stomach, terrified of the fact
you can't write love
on my hummingbird abdomen.
my pigeon ribcage,
much too narrow to protect
me from the arrow that splinters my heart
every time i don't hear a sound.
and nowadays i never hear anything anymore.
and i don't know if i'm going deaf,
have the speakers turned down,
or if you've just stopped altogether.

i just wish you understood
that you not being here
leaves a crater in my chest
where you once stood.
and i wish you could see that,
realize that i'm hurting too.
and that no matter what 
i still want you here with me,
no matter what we're going through.
i wish i wasn't so invisible to you.

and i just wish for three more wishes,
because with so many wishes
made already,
i'm losing touch.
my nightmares becoming reality.

i wish loving you wasn't killing me,
and a really fucked up part of me....
just wishes for one of us to be dead already.
Because while you may be willing to kill for love, love doesn't mind killing you, if you love too much.
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:iconizzy3301:
izzy3301 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014
wow! this is amazing writing!
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :love:
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:iconithaswhatitisnt:
ithaswhatitisnt Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
this. all of this. <3 

i love you so goddamn much
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love you so much too, Catherine. :tighthug:
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:iconsaltwaterlungs:
saltwaterlungs Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
(whispers) I can't live without or without yoouuuuuu
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Pretty muuuuuuuuuuuuuch. :P But we all learn to live without because with is just too much to deal with.
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:iconimariposa:
iMariposa Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful!
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:icona-shadow-rose:
A-Shadow-Rose Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:cries: I feel like I just got punched in the throat after reading this... 
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