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Submitted on
April 30
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Mania

 
I have a lot of fears.
You know the cliché,
Afraid of being alone,
Afraid of being forgotten,
But I’m already alone
And they can’t help but not forget you-
But this,
And that,
And everything in-between.
I feel like this doesn’t make sense.
 
But I’m afraid my paranoia,
Will seep through my eyelids,
As bands of streaking colors—
Every color that refuses to mix well.
Turquoise, brown green,
Burnt orange and lilac pink.
I’m afraid I’m in too deep
Of the waters of another human—
Not afraid of intimacy,
But the thought of being so open,
That honestly worries me.
And I’m afraid I’ll spiral out of control
And way too into love.
Just to be pushed out.
And I’m afraid I’m too paranoid
About being too paranoid.
So caught up with not being so,
I am too much.
 
I’m so afraid of a back stabbing,
That I’m worried about being shot
From the front. I’m afraid of being afraid,
And I’m afraid of everything I do know
Because if I know what happens if I forget it?
And I’m afraid of what I don’t know
Because if I don’t know
And it does show,
What can I do stop it?!
I’m becoming too paranoid.
I just know I’m losing.
I just know I’m losing.
I can’t win for losing. 

 

Experimental piece mixed with some actual truths. But a lot of it is exaggeration and just playing with things. I hope this piece comes across. :)
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:iconladyoffrost:
LadyOfFrost Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Whoah. I think I've fainted. I got confused and thought I was reading a piece of my own interior monologue for a moment there. This is scarily accurate.
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I can relate a lot to this. You wrote my feelings more eloquently than I could ever put it. <333
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gaaah, thank you so much for this, Jenna! I love you! <3
All of the faves and comments put a big grin on my face. :love:
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure, Ricky! I'm glad c: Love you too! <333
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:love: :)
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:iconundomiel321:
Undomiel321 Featured By Owner May 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It definitely comes across, Ricky =D "And I’m afraid I’m too paranoid/ About being too paranoid." Exactly. Well captured. I really like this one!
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner May 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you ever so much, Jennifer! :D
Reply
:iconundomiel321:
Undomiel321 Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome! =D
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner May 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
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