I Don’t Know Where I’m Going With This
“But I do know I wanna talk. About what? Read the title above for more information. I guess I wanna start with the fact I’m happy I’m hanging with my family more, it’s really been wonderful and I’m just happy to be around them. And once I return to my room late in the day I come across messages from my past and I smile, knowing that person missed me enough to let me know. That was a pleasant feeling, ‘specially since I hadn’t forgotten her. But it also makes me grateful for the constant things in my life that I’m happy with having. I’ll never take these girls’ friendship for granted so quick thanks to both, =SpriteBlayde and ~Cool-Mojo-Sis for being the best almost sisters ever. Love you guys.
Don’t ask why, I just do it ‘cause I felt it should be done. Moving on; I’m happy this person is back in my life ‘cause she was cool and I can’t wait to talk with her s’more. The aforementioned “almost” sisters know about this girl so it’s nothin’ new, per se. She’s spoken with both of them on occasion.
Another thing I’m realizing is that I’m growing darn old, darn quick. I mean……I’m in the process of getting my license. I have a job. Looking for a car now, looking into colleges more often. Everything seems to be moving at such a frenetic pace now. And I think I’m enjoying it; the reason for that is that it’s because it’s different and exciting. I actually believe my sudden urge to cut my hair is a symbolic gesture of that. Things are happening so quickly that we just wanna do things, on a whim. Now I know to slow down and think everything through, to make sure what I’m doing is the smart, responsible thing to do but I enjoy speed every now and again. Which I didn’t know I enjoyed in my life, before (Video games are a different story. Ha!).
The thing about moving on and growing up is weird, but very enjoyable. ‘Cause now when I’m away from things I’m so used to, even simple things like just being on my laptop, I feel like I actually ENJOY the old things more when I’m away from them. Y’know the saying, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ seems to really be the case. I know I’m enjoying conversations with my amazing friends, even if it’s just small talk. ‘Cause I know things will eventually slow down and we can go back to the ‘old’ days for a moment and really have long-winded conversations (Which I tend to miss and love, but that’s how life goes). I think now that I’m away from usual things; my mind is clearing up to the point of absolute peace. Which is something I’m not used to since my mind is always wandering off into the dark depths of insecurities and pseudo-psychosis. Not ‘psuedo’ as in fake, but as in almost there, ready to lose my fuse. I feel I have my moments at times (Haven’t had that in dang-near a month now, though), but I’m handling things a lot better.
I think growing up has its positive effects on me and I’m just trying to take everything in stride. I’m happy. So happy. And I’m glad to have such wonderful people along with me on my journey.”